I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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