my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
