You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
