Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
