I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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