You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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