when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
