can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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