My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
