Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
