Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
