sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
