D3 body, D1 cock
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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