Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
