Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
