I'm going to jail i love you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
