he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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