No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
