That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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