his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
