what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
