My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
