I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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