I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
