Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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