I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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