Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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