wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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