Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
