i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
