Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
