Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
