You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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