ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize