I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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