The brown eye won't let me do that either.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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