Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
i now understand why vodka
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
