Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
