Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
