i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
