So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
