he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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