I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize