Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
