I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
