Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize