The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
