They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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