Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
