I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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