heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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