i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
it glows. i had to have it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
