Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
