everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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