I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
