I just cut my nipple shaving
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
