nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
