You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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