he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think people are normalizing furries
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
