ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
