Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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