chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
