we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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