I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize