How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Two words: blizzard sex
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
