Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
He kissed a someone with a penis
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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