I think scott just propositioned me for sex
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
