i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
