Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
