the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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