if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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