I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
