so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just googled if crying burns calories
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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