How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Randomize
