Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
