Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
