She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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