But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
