we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
