Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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