She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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