Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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