What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have feelings that need drinking.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
