You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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